


Down Will Come Baby (Maybe You Just Can Have It All)

by truelyesoteric



Series: Rockabye Verse [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-30
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:21:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ackles find out about Jensen. Jensen finds out about Danneel. It probably is not the best day ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down Will Come Baby (Maybe You Just Can Have It All)

**Author's Note:**

> Repost from LJ

Jensen knew that he wasn’t the calmest person in the world. He knew that he had learned at a very young age that he was different and that he would never be exactly what his parents wanted, no matter how hard he tried.

His parents had Josh for that; they had Josh to be the perfect golden son. Jensen was the one with the mediocre grades, the yearning towards theater, and was the one who accidentally knocked up some girl when he was twenty.

So that made him feel kind of like a freak, he had given up on being anything like perfect, but that never stopped him from neurotically trying to be this unattainable thing.

When his mother called him, using the ‘oh Jensen fucked up again’ voice, he knew what was going on, this was the big one. 

He was pretty sure that he wasn’t ever going to be okay again. He was pretty sure that he had broken any hope of ever being the son his parents wanted.

She had straightforwardly asked one thing.

“Are you gay? Are you with Jared?”

It was the question he knew the answer to, but it was the question that he didn’t know if he wanted to confront.

He lived it, he loved it, he was just terrified to say it. 

Then he caught a picture that Jared had put on the fridge. It was of the three of them. Cam was on Jared’s shoulder and Jensen was looking up at Jared. 

That was what he wanted. All he had to do was say it.

“Yes mom,” Jensen said.

There was silence.

“I’m living with Jared,” Jensen clarified. “I’m in love with him, I’ve been in love with him for a long time.”

She was silent for a moment and Jensen was dreading this conversation because his mother was excellent at coming out of right field with a verbal hook.

Donna Ackles cleared her throat, and got straight to the point. “And when it ends? When this Jared thing is over? When there is no more Jared?”

That was not a question that he wanted to think about, because in his mind there was nothing after Jared, Jared was the end game. He would move heaven and earth if it meant that this was it.

Which in itself was another thing he didn’t want to think about.

“Mom,” Jensen tried again evenly. “I’m dating Jared. I’m in love with Jared.”

“We’ll see, come over for bunch tomorrow,” Donna instructed and hung up.

Jensen listened to the dial tone for a minute of still and then the panic came over him.

What the hell was he going to do when Jared dumped him? Jensen had very little idea of what happened in relationships. He was pretty sure that ninety-nine percent of them ended.

What was he going to do when Jared dumped him indeed?

He spent half an hour going out of his mind, preemptively ended things.

Then in the midst of his freak out he decided that he should get on the whole getting dumped thing.

He called Jared, who was with Danneel and told him what had happened. He didn’t have a moment to tell Jared that it was over before Jared interrupted.

“We’re coming home,” Jared said. “Danni, Cam, me. We’re coming home, don’t freak out too much. I love you, baby. We’ll figure this out. We will be home soon.”

Then Jensen hung up the phone.

Suddenly as it came it was gone, and then some.

That sense of wrongness that he had felt his entire life was gone. He thought about it for a moment and suddenly he felt as if he had been holding on to something that wasn’t real any more. He had told his secrets and nobody had run away screaming. He still had the important people in his life.

Jared and Danneel were rushing to him.

It was okay.

They were coming home.

Jensen put down his phone.

He looked at the picture of him and Cam on the fridge and mentally noted that there needed to be more pictures among Cam’s drawings and early examples of writings. There were more people now than just the two of them.

Jensen smiled a little bit and straightened the picture. He wanted one of Cam and Danneel, He wanted one of Jared and Jeff, and for some strange reason he wanted on of Danneel and Jared.

Because they were awesome.

He liked the two of them together and he was absolutely grateful to whatever ruled the universe that the two people that he actually cared about more than anything, besides Cam of course, both loved him and actually seemed to get along.

He was whistling a bit as he opened the freezer to check out what he was going to make for dinner.

Jared and Danneel took that second to run in.

Jensen looked up at them. “Chicken or pork chops?”

They just looked at them.

Jensen made a face. “You smell like McDonalds. Seriously. Disgusting. Really you two should not be allowed together.”

They looked at each other silently. They were very confused, at his sudden lack of freak out. The just looked at him as he scolding them, trying to process.

“Jensen,” Danneel said quietly. “Did you hit your head?”

Jensen closed the fridge door and walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead. Then he turned to his big boyfriend and reached up and pulled his face down and gave him a long kiss.

A kiss that was a little embarrassing for others in the room, that other being Danneel.

She cleared her throat.

“Seriously, body swapping, is that what is going on here?” Danneel suggested.

They continued the kiss and Jared smacked his hand at where he assumed she would be.

Danneel rolled her eyes and walked to the sink and turned on the water and sprayed them with Jensen’s amazing dish washing nozzle.

“Hey,” Jared whined. “I was enjoying that.”

Danneel stood with her hands on her hips. “Seriously boys. This isn’t the melodramatic finish and your last kiss. You will get plenty more sexy time, after you tell us what is going on, Jensen Ackles.”

Jensen looked up sheepishly. “Oops. Forgot for a minute.”

She looked at him a small smile on her lips, a searching look in her eyes as she stepped closer to him. “You’re okay? How are YOU okay?”

Jensen moved to a more socially respectable place in the room, but he still held onto Jared.

“Jared told me that you guys were coming home,” Jensen said.

Jared shrugged. “And?”

But Danneel just smiled. She understood. Because her fear and her jealousy had faded when Jensen had called them a family.

Danneel just grinned. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

He turned to Jensen and looked, really looked at him. “You’re out of the closet. Congrats.”

“The truth will set you free,” Danneel said seriously.

Jensen and Jared exchanged a look and then charged her. Cam came in and they were tickling Danneel on the floor. 

Cam looked at them like this was totally normal. “Can I have a fudgeicle?”

Danneel squealed and Jared reached out and pulled the boy into the pile.

**

“So we’re going to brunch tomorrow at the manse,” Jensen said. They were sitting around the fire pit; Cam was in bed stuffed with s’mores. Danneel sat next to him swilling a beer. Jared had gone inside for tequila.

“Who is this we?” Danneel asked. “I am not part of this we, am I? Please tell me I included no more Ackles brunches. I think that it is in the divorce contracts.”

“Please tell me that you’re coming,” Jensen said with his most begging eyes. “I just don’t know if I can deal with it alone.”

“You have Jared,” Danneel pointed out. “You are the shiny new pretty Jensen. I really really don’t want to go and have not at all veiled insults about how terrible a mother I am. Your mother is passive aggressive and this might just push her into outright aggressive.”

“Maybe if we make a united front it won’t be so bad,” Jared suggested coming from inside, handing the bottle to Jensen.

“The gay thing and the Jared thing might over shadow the mother things,” Jensen said taking a swig, shuddering a little bit before passing it to Danneel.

“Awesome,” Jared muttered. “I really want to go now.”

“I am willing to beet your mother is not going to be amused,” Danneel muttered. “Your mother hates me, and I’m sure that this isn’t going to make things okay. I’m sure that your mother is going to say something along the lines of the fact that if I didn’t abandoned my child and husband, my husband wouldn’t have gone gay.” 

“Yep,” Jared agreed. “Your mother is going to not be the biggest fan of the two of us.”

Then Jared turned to Danneel and gave her the puppy dog look.

“Please come Danni,” Jared pouted. “We’ve got to have a united family front. How can we be family if we do it all separately?”

She gave him a glare; Jensen knew that she was a goner with the implication of family. “No fair using my weakness against me.”

Jensen smiled that he was not the only one who the eyes of puppies and charm of death were focused on. He also liked them bickering, although it was sometimes like having two more unpredictable children.

“Hey where are you guys?” a voice rang out and Danneel nearly chocked to death on the tequila.

“Back here,” Jensen yelled, looking strangely at his ex-wife who was once queen of shots. It was the shooters and the dirty jokes that initially drew him in.

Jeff appeared and Danneel looked white.

Jensen felt like something that was going on and he was pretty sure that nobody was going to tell him. Jeff even looked in on the idea. He just watched curious how this was going to unfold.

Then he suddenly had a lap full of Jared Padalecki and that thought just left his mind.

“Ewww stop!” Jeff said picking up a nerf ball and throwing at their heads.

“Give it up,” Danneel muttered. “They’ve been ridiculous for the last few hours, as if this was the last night on earth.’

Jeff made a face and Danneel started laughing.

Jared smiled wide and unworried. “You’re so pretty relaxed. I like you relaxed.”

Jensen grinned. “I didn’t even know that this was possible. I know that I should be worried about tomorrow, but I can’t seem to be worried.”

Jared grinned. “You needed to give in a long time ago. It’s easier to just be than to worry what happens when everyone finds out.”

“Where did you come from,” Jensen asked softly. “How the hell are you so sure all the time?”

Jared shrugged. “That is what I am good at. I’m not so good at knowing what I want to be when I grow up or pretty much anything that has to do with taking care of myself. Fortunately I have someone who puts up with me and is showing me how to do dishes and this separating of laundry thing.”

Jensen grinned so hard his cheeks nearly fell off his face. “Just do me a favor, remember the little people when you are self sufficient.”

“I just can’t figure out how to forget you,” Jared said, his voice a little horse.

Jensen could feel his heart pounding and his head tingled so hard it nearly exploded.

“I love you,” Jensen whispered.

**

Jensen was hung over, drinking tequila the night before brunch with his parents was a bad idea. Having tantric bendy yoga sex that Jensen didn’t know was actually possible, with his boyfriend the night before was also bad idea. Positions that seemed excellent and had blown his mind last night, hurt in the harsh light of non-inebriated flexibility and the bright red mark on his neck was only barely covered with Daneel's cover-up.

Jensen was nauseous and sore and heading towards his parent’s house. Jared, Mr. Beer-Only, was driving and strangely perky. Danneel looked okay, just a little spacey out the window.

Jensen cursed tequila and tried to curse his attempts at flexibility when he had tequila, his back was paying the price. Today couldn’t get much worse.

And then his precious son spoke up and he found something much worse.

"Mommy," Cam said from his booster seat. "Why were you kissing Jeff last night?"

Jensen suddenly was sure he was going to hurl.

“What?” Danneel said.

“I went to get some water,” Cam said. “You were kissing him goodbye. On the mouth.”

"Pull over," Jensen said and Jared screeched to the side of the road.

Jensen scrambled out of the car and lost the toast that he had eaten and most of the lining of his stomach on the side of the road. He stayed hunched over, dry heaving, Jared's hand at his back, Danneel's presence behind him, and cars of everybody he had known since birth whizzing by on the main stretch of road.

Finally, after an eternity on the dusty ground Jensen looked up.

"Jeff?" Jensen asked, glaring at her. 

She crossed her arms. He knew her defiant look. He just wasn't used to it against him.

"This isn’t what you think." She said stubbornly.

Jensen tried not to throw up again. “Is this revenge for Jared?”

“This isn’t about you Jensen,” Danneel said firmly. “Just like I would never think that Jared has anything to do with me.”

Jensen looked at her incredulously and pulled a few memories of before she left out of his mind.

“This isn’t the first time,” Jensen figured out.

Danneel looked stubbornly at the ground.

“Marriage vows,” Jensen gritted out.

“Gay,” Danneel countered. 

He closed his eyes again and leaned towards the dirt. Jeff was her Jared, the secret she carried. It was a bitter pill to swallow. He knew he was illogical, but he was so angry. 

"Any other deep dark secrets Danni?" he asked, bitterness coming off him.

Danneel didn’t look up, instead it was Jared who broke the silence.

"I slept with forty-three guys in five years," Jared said lightly.

Jensen looked at him accusingly; he didn’t know when he had ever been this angry.

He turned to glare at Jared before getting up in a move that made him feel like he was going to throw up again. He stood, breathing hard, looking at the two people he loved the most, feeling exceptionally betrayed.

Cars whizzed by, Danneel stood with her arms crossed, Jared still squatted on the ground, Cam looked out the window.

The minutes ticked by as they began to be late for brunch with his mother to officially announce their family spirit. 

"You can be mad," Danneel said softly stepping forward. "But you would be an ass. Jared didn't cheat on you. He just wasn't pining for you. If you're gonna be mad, be mad at me. I kissed your best friend, while we were married. I am the bad guy in all of this."

"But he would still be an idiot," Jared finally said, standing up. "Because he's gay and your marriage wasn't the most honest of connections."

Jensen hated them.

An now they were ganging up on him, on the side of the road with everybody driving by. He found he was really fine with this public display of drama; their family should be on Jerry Springer anyway.

Jensen swallowed. "You two lied to me. Or didn't tell me the whole truth."

They stood at three points of a triangle, staring each other down by turns. 

"And now you're ganging up on me," Jensen said in a small voice.

Jared looked down at the ground and scuffed his toe. Jensen looked at him and he had never wanted an answer more than he wanted Jared to answer. Jared was twenty-one and Jensen felt like a stupid child in front of him.

"Well we're afraid of loosing you," Danneel said, coming forward. "I'll say it because you’re tied to me for life, I can piss you off and it won’t matter. So I’m going to say it. You are wound up so tight, trying not to deviate from any kind of norm. If we tell you these things are you going to kick us out? You're so hard to get to know Jensen. We're scared that a little movement in the wrong direction will send you running into your fucked up sense of duty, so we walk on eggshells around you, and around each other, because lord knows we do something wrong or hurt somebody’s feelings, we have damage too, why are you allowed to be fucked up and create havoc while we’re supposed to be perfect."

Jensen stared at her, mouth agape.

Jared turned to look at her wide-eyed.

Danneel shrugged sheepishly. "Red head, temper."

“Gee Danni,” Jensen said dryly, not really angry any more. “Got anything else?”

"We've all made poor decisions," Jared stated. "Really really poor decisions. Nobody wins the badass horrible person award. We should stop competing, and just accept that we’ve all made some decisions that aren’t the best. We were all very young and stupid before this moment, but we’ve gotta grow up now."

At that is when Jensen realized what these two were going through, the anger, the jealousy, the irrationality, it was all right there under the surface. They were willing to put it aside to see what would happened if they were able to try.

He could feel it, or he could trust in what was before him. He was just as guilty as them for secrets of the past. But he could try for the present, and hold hopes for the future.

The past was just a poor choice.

"Like tequila last night?" Jensen muttered, cracking a little bit.

"Yeah, poor choice," Danneel said, a little smile appearing.

"Are we all going to be okay?" Jensen said, voice a little rough, letting go a little, showing some of his cracks.

"Maybe if we play our cards right we can not make poor choices like we did, cause I gotta say all of us really screwed each one of us, even if we knew it or not," Jared said. “I think that all of are awesome together and there is a lot of shit out there, we don’t need to fight amongst ourselves.”

Jensen nodded in assent, before glaring at Danneel, "Although you and I are going to have a very long talk."

Danneel dimpled. "Lets stop for gum and mouthwash, your breath smells like bile."

** 

When they got to the house Mackenzie was out of the door before they got out of the car.

"Hello strange new modern blended family!" she said opening Jared's door. "I'm all very happy for you and everything. Go progressive lifestyle! Mom is making me take Cam, you all are going to have an adult conversations. You have one minute to prepare."

"Breathe Kenzie," Jensen muttered, feeling utterly like shit with minty breath.

"Just saying big bro," Mackenzie said, opening the door to take Cam out. "Mom is on the war path."

She smiled at Danneel. "Hey sis! I'm totally still going to call you that. You're stuck with me just like you're stuck with big bro. Just so you know she is almost as mad as when you left."

With that Mackenzie started to pull Cam away to the back yard.

"I have so missed her sugar coating everything," Danneel muttered.

Jared just watched her depart. "Dear lord, she does not have a filter. I weren't gay I would have ended up with that. I just know it. She would have opened her mouth and I would have ended up with her without even knowing what she was saying."

"Stay away from my sister," Jensen muttered sliding out of the car. "No more horrible choices."

Jared grinned at him and slipped an arm around Jensen. "Thank you for making me make sure I was gay. You saved me from Mackenzie."

Danneel snorted, but her retort was cut short by the appearance of Donna Ackles.

"United front," she muttered behind a blinding smile.

"Hi Momma," Jensen said stepping 

Donna Ackles stood there with her lips in a very thin line. 

“Come in,” she said with no warmth. “We need to talk.”

They didn’t look at each other, but they bushed each other in support. Jensen hardly registered anything but the walk into his parent’s house. He saw it, he saw the house like it was new.

They sat in the living room. Jensen between Danneel and Jared. Donna and Alan sat across from them.

“Jensen,” Donna began sternly. “We brought you here because we are worried about Cam. This kind of thing can’t be easy for a child to process, we feel like you make some rash decisions and they may not be in the best interests of the child.”

She talked on, but Jensen looked out the window to where Cam was playing with Mackenzie by the pool.

Hours before Danneel had told him she was pregnant, he had sat by that pool. Mackenzie had pushed him into watching 80’s teen romantic comedies. After ‘Say Anything’, ‘Sixteen Candles’, and a few others he had just sat by the pool.

Watching those movies he had thought only about Jared, how unfair he had been to Jared, how much he wanted to be with Jared and maybe the could try. That had been the last moment he had felt the surge of doing that big moment, to see what happened with his life. That was last moment he thought that he could do it.

At that moment he just felt the urge to make a stand, to stop dicking around.

And when Danneel came over to tell him that they were going to have a baby he had let that go, his hard fought internal battle was dashed by Danneel’s fear and his very real pending child. He took the easy way out. Just let things happen to him instead of speaking out.

There had never been a question in his mind after that until Jared hit him with a car.

He stared off before coming back to the couch, between Jared and Danneel. His mother was still talking.

He just looked at her calmly for a second and then spoke. “So mamma which one is the lesser of the two evils?” 

Everybody in the room looked at him with mouth’s agape.

Jensen just shrugged. “I mean what do you want me to do? Pick Danneel? Pick Jared? Pick someone else? Be a single father and raise my child without another parent? Do you want to take him? It sounds like you are pointing out a whole bunch of things you see as problems without offering a solution.”

Everyone looked at him. 

“See here is the thing momma. I’m his father and you can’t really take that away because you don’t approve,” Jensen said standing up. “Danneel is a great mother, so I’m keeping her, you will have to pry Cam out of our cold dead hands.”

Jensen looked over at Danneel who was watching him with wide eyes; he gave her a little smile.

“You’re crazy,” she whispered, biting her lip. He kissed her temple.

Then he looked over at Jared whose face was impassive.

“And I’m dating Jared,” Jensen said calmly. “There is no argument on that. You asked me earlier today what happens after Jared. Well I don’t know. I was a kid when it started and I don’t remember before him. My life has been crazy, that is what I know and I’m going to ride this out. Cam loves Jared and I think out of the five adults in this room he understands our relationship the most.”

Jared’s hand came into his.

“This is my family,” Jensen said. “You don’t have to accept it, if you don’t you don’t have to be a part of our lives. Thank you for the brunch offer, but we are gong to go home now, I don’t want to expose my son to this.”

Jensen led them out the car. Danneel got Cam and Jared drove them away.

Even Cam was silent in the car.

“I elect Jensen cornerstone of the family unit,” Danneel said finally.

Jensen let out a sob. “Today really sucks.”

Jared’s hand went to his knee. Jensen just stared out the window.

When they got to the house Danneel took Cam into the house. Jensen and Jared said in the car.

“So today,” Jared began.

“I can’t do this Jared,” Jensen said, his face crumbing. “I can’t crack any more today. I’m loosing who I am. Can we not talk? I can’t be any more than I am being. I don’t know the answers to anything and I have the feeling you have questions. I don’t have the answers, I can’t be any more.”

Jared stroked his back. “I wasn’t going to ask you anything. I just want you to know something, I am not going anywhere, I don’t need answers today. I mean I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen; I’ve loved you through all the mess of our lives. We have this chance that we never had. I sat at your kitchen table after our first adult night together and I knew that I was in this, I’m totally in this.”

Jensen started hyperventilating.

“Too soon?” Jared asked with a sad laugh, clutching the steering wheel.

Jensen put his head between his legs, so when he started speaking it was a little muffled. “You are twenty-one how can you think that, I know the decisions that I made when I was twenty and they weren’t good.”

“Well all I know is that I will regret it if I don’t find out what happens,” Jared said. “Isn’t that what you did, you found out what would happen if you did something, I can always change it later, but Jensen I’m really going to regret it if I don’t see this through. Don’t you know, this is where I have always wanted to be.”

Jensen looked up, a little green around the gills.

“Remember when Macky told you that I was going to flip out and you needed to be nice,” Jensen said. “You’re being really nice, totally sweet, and I’m a little more in love with you, but today sucks I’m still hung over.”

Jared smiled a little. 

“Can…” Jensen began. “I mean would you and Danni mind if I took Cam out for a little bit?”

Jared looked at him and blinked. “Do Danneel and I mind if you take the son you have primary custody of out? I think that the legally non-holding parent and the boyfriend with no say what so ever would be fine with you taking some time out with your son.”

“I don’t care about that law stuff, you guys have say,” Jensen pointed out.

Jared just grinned. “I love you.”

“I just need to talk to him,” Jensen said small. “I just, well after talking to mom, I just need to talk to my son.”

“Yeah Jensen,” Jared said with a grin, gingerly touching his back. “You’re a great dad, and I think that any child psychologist would say spending time and talking with your son is a good thing.”

“Shut it smart ass,” Jensen said grudgingly.

Jared grinned. “That is the boyfriend I know and love.”

**

Jensen took Cam to the park and bought him a frozen fruit popsicle.

“I like it when mom and Jared take me out,” Cam said, looking at the pre-packaged ice cream.

“Yeah,” Jensen said. “I love you more and want you to be healthy. They’re trying to kill you.”

“Haha dad,” Cam said. “You’re mean.”

They sat on the swings, Cam kept looking at Jensen.

"So buddy," Jensen said slowly. "How do you like it that it isn't just us any more?"

Cam looked confused and then he cleared and brightened. "Mommy is home! Jared is awesome."

"So you're okay with it all?" Jensen asked. "You don't mind all the people in the house."

Cam thought for a moment. "I like it. It was empty without everyone."

"You don't miss just you and me?" Jensen asked.

Cam looked up hesitantly, like he didn't want to disappoint Jensen. "Sometimes, but I like having everyone. You like them there, right?"

Jensen felt tears well up behind his eyes. "Yes, I like them there."

“Are they family?” Cam asked. “Are they my family now?”

“Yes baby,” Jensen said softly. “They’re our family.”

Then Jensen took in a breath and had the conversation that he never thought he would have to have, it never occurred that he had to make sure that Cam understood.

"You know that I like Jared," Jensen told him. "We're a couple."

"Duh," Cam said.

"Its not what everyone expects or likes," Jensen explained. "I'm gay and people have trouble with two men together."

Cam thought about it for a moment. "What is gay?"

What was gay indeed, Jensen really didn't know what to tell his son. "It means that instead of a woman and a man being together a man and a man or a woman and a woman are together."

"Okay," Cam said, as if this wasn't such a big deal. "Are you going to marry Jared like you married mommy."

Jensen nearly choked on his breath. "I'm not sure yet honey, how about we talk about that if it happens."

"Can I be your best man?" Cam asked.

Jensen laughed. "If I marry Jared you can be my best man."

Cam smiled and then he frowned. "Can two guys have babies? I want a brother."

Jensen sighed because obviously Cam was way further ahead of him. "We're going to wait on this discussion of children. Besides we talked about how babies are made, there is only the one way. Two guys have other options, but that is something I don't know about either."

Cam gave him epic puppy dog eyes.

"Your mommy might have babies." Jensen offered

Jensen sent up a silent apology for throwing Danneel under the bus.

“Is she going to have babies with Uncle Jeff,” Cam asked.

Jensen tried to find the words for that and also how he was going to get away with this because Danneel was going to kill him.

Cam spoke up again. "Are you okay?"

Jensen looked up at his young son, who was looking up at him with the green eyes he knew was in his face. Cam jumped down.

"I love you most daddy," Cam said, hugging Jensen. "And I love Jared and mommy too, but I love you most."

Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat and picked Cam up and put him on his lap. "Honey, you're going to love a lot of people in your life. You love me like you should love a dad; you love your mom because she's your mom. I want you to love them, I want you to love Jared because he's awesome and I love him and I want him to be part of our lives, but only if it is okay with you. You're the original, for years it was just me and you and its always going to be the two of us."

Cam smiled and leaned into his father's shoulder. "Can we still do us stuff, every once in awhile. Fishing and Camping. Just you and me."

Jensen nodded. "Always. Sometimes it is just the two of us.”

Cam just looked up at Jensen seriously.

"Daddy are you going to be a doctor," Cam asked.

Jensen laughed, so relieved for some kind of normal in today. He started telling Cam about his future profession, Cam listened with a way that was more adult than Jensen was comfortable with; so then he chased Cam around the playground. 

He knew that he had played with Cam before, but there was something different about this, this was easy, it wasn't all on him if Cam was fed, clothed, and happy, he had help. For a little bit he could play.

Kids were really a two-person job, and Jensen was relieved that Danneel was staying and that Jared was willing to help, he didn't realize how isolating his secrets had been.

"Daddy," Cam squealed, jumping at his father.

Jensen smiled with an armful at his sun. Cam suddenly looked up and spoke.

"Is mom going to marry Uncle Jeff," Cam asked.

Jensen's eyes widened. "Dear lord, Cam let's talk about this one later."

Cam went on undaunted. "See we should be the same, so nobody has to be alone. If mom marries Uncle Jeff then she has to have a baby so I have somebody too."

Jensen thought about it for a few minutes. He didn’t have the answers, but there were other parents that Cam could ask.

“Lets go home and ask your mother,” Jensen said with a grin.

**

Jensen walked in the house and threw open the door. “Hi, honey I’m home.”

Danneel was sitting at the kitchen table looking through the classifieds.

“I see the hang over is over,” Danneel commented. “And you hit your head again, these mood swings are becoming worrisome.”

“Hey Danni, Cam has a question for you. Where is Jared?” Jensen asked, looking over her shoulder. 

“Upstairs,” Danneel said. “I think that what you did last night and the drama today he needed a nap.”

Jensen shrugged and took the paper away from her. “You are welcome in the house that you bought for as long as you want.”

“Just looking,” Danneel said. “One day I’m going to have to grow up. Are we talking about how not only did I leave you, but I totally committed adultery, yet.”

“Pshaw,” Jensen said. “Kissing is not adultery.”

“Your mood swings are making me think that you need to be committed. We do need to talk,” Danneel sighed.

“I know,” Jensen said. “But I can’t really take any more today, can we do it later, can you just watch Cam?”

"Sure, I remember him napping when I left," Danneel sighed as Cam ran around the yard. "I suppose he doesn't do that any more."

"Yeah, no," Jensen said definitely. “I’m going to find Jared. Have fun with our kid.”

**

Jared was under the covers when Jensen went to the bedroom. One side of the blanket lifted up and Jensen crawled under the covers.

“I don’t remember you freaking out all that much,” Jared said, pulling Jensen in for a snuggle. “Danni is always talking about how you freak out, you always seemed amazing to me.”

“Well, my last deep dark secret is that you make me calm,” Jensen muttered.

“Did a bang up job today,” Jared laughed.

Jensen heard a car pull out of the house. He was quiet for a moment.

“This is the first time that I don’t know where Cam is in three years,” Jensen said quietly. Then he buried his head into Jared’s side. “God, this is hard.”

“Those pesky human emotions,” Jared said.

“Yep,” Jensen said. “A few months ago it was just the two of us, I don’t know what to do with this many people in my life. When did my life get so complicated?”

“When you kissed a fifteen year old kid,” Jared teased.

“Fifteen year old kid kissed me,” Jensen said indignantly.

“What a slut!” Jared said, shocked. “Kids those days.”

Jensen flicked him and Jared continued his diatribe. “Also I lied when I said I didn’t want to talk about anything else. Cause I kind of do. I don’t know really what is going to happen, and I don’t need us to start figuring out where we’re going to retire to when we’re eighty, but I would like to know that is an option on the table, maybe we can have a future. So I’m going to ask questions and you’re going to tell me if it is possible.”

“Okay weirdo,” Jensen said, feeling more relaxed, he knew the answers, and he had nothing to hide.

“First a test question,” Jared asked. “Will you ever want to be with Danneel again?”

“No,” Jensen laughed and Jensen held him closer.

“Good because that would have nullified all the other questions. So one day after lots of dating and living will marriage be an option?” Jared asked.

“I hope so,” Jensen said softly.

“So would you ever want another kid, even though you have the most perfect one ever?” Jared asked idly.

Jensen swallowed and tried to make light. “Would I have to sleep with Danneel again.

“Not allowed,” Jared said. “Answer the question.”

“I’d be open to it,” Jensen said. “Cam wants siblings.”

“Awesome, I can get the ankle biter to help harass you. Can I put in a change of address in?” Jared asked.

“You haven’t already?’ Jensen asked.

“Will do,” Jared said. “So you’re totally cool with Danneel?”

Jensen was confused. “About what?”

“Divorce, leaving you with Cam, and kissing Jeff,” Jared said. “You never have been one to swallow things easily, even though with me you were calm, you always did a lot of ruminating.”

Jensen thought. “I guess. I always wondered when she would leave, when she would figure out that I was wrong. When she said she was leaving it was like the first part of it being okay happened. I didn’t have to keep up the biggest lie anymore. There are things we’ve done, but hopefully we’ve got the big ones out there so we can figure out what to do with them. Can I ask one?”

“Shoot,” Jared laughed.

“Are you okay with this? I chose you,” Jensen said. “Not to put too much pressure on you, but are you okay with this? Daddy duties, irate in-laws, an ever-present ex-wife. I’m not easy and signing up for me is looking like a huge difficult package.”

Jared engulfed him with his outrageously long arms, and claimed his mouth, Jared kissed at him, and taking everything he could. Jensen gave it easily.

“I adore you,” Jared said a little breathlessly when he pulled away. “I love you, and that thing you did with your parents made my knees weak. Who you were today is awesome, and did I mention that I love you. I would have loved you if you didn’t, but that was a great and honest and you’re awesome.”

Jensen shrugged. "I was honest because I just realized that it's going to be there anyway. You’re going to be there even if I’m not. You’re going to be here.”

Jensen tapped his heart, Jared grinned.

Jensen said finally. "I told my parents off because I just wanted to put out who I really was. I know they will see it as taking your side, and it is, because I don’t want to hide you or us. If they like me or don't like me it will be fore real. I mean I should have told the truth back in the day. I wouldn't have Cam, which would suck and I probably would have gotten arrested for statutory issues, so maybe things turned out better."

Jared laughed. "I am okay with how things turned out."

**

The sun was low in the sky when the door opened. Jensen curled into the warm naked body next to him, hoping that the person wouldn’t see him. He was never too logical when waking up.

“You know what is funny,” Danneel’s voice said as it came into the room. “How you both are good being naked and all reeking of sweat when Jared’s mother is under the same roof.”

The warm body startled awake and a squeaking voice came out of it. “What is my mother doing here?”

“Making potato salad and cole slaw,” Danneel said from far away.

This time Jensen sat up straight. “Making cole slaw in my kitchen?”

Danneel laughed. “ Don’t worry she’s neat and awesome. Mackenzie called Jeff. Your family is here. You might want to get up.”

Jensen and Jared looked at each other.

“Forgot to ask that question,” Jared drawled slowly. “Mind if I tell my parents we’re dating? And maybe that we’re kind of like living together.”

“Your parents probably have an inkling,” Jensen replied blandly. “Since you know you moved out and in with me.”

“Go shower,” Danneel said gently. 

Jared kissed Jensen’s forehead. “You okay, baby?”

“Do you think that your mom will be okay with it,” Jensen said in a small voice.

Jared pulled back and looked Jensen in the eye, searching. “Jensen, my parents know I’m gay, they know that…Jensen, they want Jeff and I to be you, my mother has been sending cookies and cakes and hinting since day one, since the car accident, maybe before then. They do know, and they’re psyched.”

Jensen looked worried, but Jared was sure. So Jensen trusted him.

“I’m going to shower,” Jared told him. “Sorry no naked wet time, but this has got to be quick, our public awaits.”

Jared left and Danneel came and plopped down on the opposite side of the bed from Jensen.

“So buddy,” she said. “You’re naked under there, and you won’t be naked in front of me so you are going to have to stay under there so you have to listen to me.”

Jensen groaned.

“Without ever knowing it in most cases I always fall for guys who are totally unavailable,” Danneel sighed. “You were my first boyfriend and gay, I dated a few losers in New York, then the guy I fell for I later found out was married. Now Jeff, he’s so wrong in like seventy ways and I’m doing it again.”

Jensen looked at her with those heart-breaking eyes. “Danni, if I could I’d give you…if I could change things so you could be happy-I mean I can’t give up Cam, even imaginary, but if I could give you anything to be happy I would.”

Danneel smiled sadly. “Jenny, I have always gotten what I needed. I had to figure out how to be me. I’m sorry for everything with Jeff. I don’t know if he’s just been there or if maybe it could be something, but I don’t know what to do.”

Jensen just shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You can’t tell me what to do?” Danneel asked, hopefully.

No,” Jensen said regretfully. “But we can give it time and I’ll be here next to you.”

Danneel finally started sobbing, Jensen pulled her close and she sobbed into his shoulder. She was only sniffling when Jared came in from the shower.

“Awesome,” Jared said. “This is what ever guy wants to see, his naked boyfriend in bed with a girl.”

Danneel looked up crying. 

Jared winked at her and walked into the walk in closet. “Let me guess, my brother is an asshole?’

“Yes,” Danneel said, wiping away her tears. “I’m taking Jensen back to pay for your family’s misgivings.”

Jared came back fully dressed and kissed her on the forehead. “Whatevs strawberry shortcake. I’m going to go help my mother cut vegetables and tell her that I’m living in sin, wish me luck.”

“Break a leg or two,” she said with a laugh.

Jared looked at her for a moment and then dragged her out of the bed. “I trust you, but you are so not going to be in here without me while Jensen showers. I’m having some jealousy issues at this moment.”

Danneel laughed. “I’m flattered and honored and I will respect your wishes. Also I’m done with men who are unavailable.”

“Good girl,” Jared said. “Is mom making cake?”

Danneel winked at Jensen. “Chocolate chocolate choclate for the one who had a terrible day.”

Jared looked back at Jensen and dropped Danneel’s arm and went back to Jensen, who was still in his bed. He kissed Jensen, whose hands curled into Jared’s head, cupping and holding.

“I love you,” Jared whispered and then disappeared from the room with Danneel.

Jensen sighed into the empty room.

**

Jensen showered and dressed slowly. He was a little wary of whatever was happening downstairs. He had been apart of Sharon and Gerald Padalecki’s house since he was ten, he was the one who split nursing duties with Sharon and Jeff when Gerald got sick, he knew that he was part of their house, but he felt like he had been through the ringer and he wasn’t ready for anything that potentially could be disappointing.

But they were here, they were supportive of Jared being gay, and they loved Cam. 

Jensen breathed in because they had never given him any reason to doubt that they would ever think less of him for choices that he had made. They had fed him through Danneel leaving and watched over Cam when he had finally decided to go back to school.

He walked down the stairs.

Sharon was alone in the kitchen.

She was cleaning up. She looked up at him and smiled. “Don’t worry I won’t leave your kitchen dirty.”

“Thanks Sharon,” Jensen said, still into coming into the room.

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow and just began speaking in the calm even tone, relaying what Jensen had missed in the last few hours. “The girls are getting Danneel to play basketball, I have always liked her. I’m glad she’s coming back, Mackenzie and Megan love her. The boys are all around the grill. Cam is showing them, I hope Gerry doesn’t scare him, my husband takes his grilling seriously.”

“He should be,” Jensen said moving into the room to peek out the window. “Jared taught him.”

When he looked back Sharon had a happy smile on her face.

“You know you are like a son to me,” she said softly. “Jeff brought you home when you were ten and you have been in my kitchen for years.”

Jensen swallowed. “Did Jared tell you?”

Sharon snorted. “Honey, he’s been living here for awhile. I had an clue.”

“And you’re okay with it?” Jensen said, feeling a tightness in his throat.

Sharon walked over to him, she was a good head shorter than him.

“When my son told me that he was gay,” Sharon said softly. “I was so scared. I don’t know many gay guys, but I thought, well I thought that he’d have that wild life, I watched ‘Queer as Folk.’ I supported him because that was who he was and I’m never going to tell my children to be anything but what they are. He seemed to struggle so much. But here, he’s so happy, I wasn’t sure, but I hoped. I know he always looked at you, well he thought you hung the moon. Watching him with Cam, seeing the grin on his face since he hit you with his car…”

“Sharon,” Jensen interrupted. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t know how to do small talk right now. If there is a but somewhere in there just get to it, I just need to know if you’re okay with me.”

Sharon laughed. “Oh Jensen, your mother is an idiot for making you think that there is anything wrong with this. I adore you. I want to marry you half the time. You can have any of my children, I’ll throw in dowries.”

Jensen blinked, trying to process.

“Jensen,” Sharon said slowly stepping forward, spelling it slowly. “I was trying to sell Jared to you. Let me ask you something, do you love him?”

Jensen nodded slowly and swallowed. “A lot.”

She reached out and hugged him. “Thank god, now I get to keep Cam and you, you’re family.”

Jensen was stiff and then it sunk in. He put his arms around her and held her to him.

“Mom, we need cheese” Jared followed in after his voice, he looked at Jensen and his mother hugging and raised an eyebrow.

Jensen gently untangled from Sharon gently and walked over to Jared. He was a little nervous but he reached up and dragged Jared’s head toward until their mouths meant. Jared pulled him closer.

It was less than a second later that he pulled away and ducked his head and then looked sheepishly at Sharon. Jared didn’t let him pull away.

“Okay,” he said in the middle of a conversation. “I’m building you a huge table for the back yard. Like an outside dining thing. We need one.”

“Ask your father to help please,” Sharon said, handing Jared cheese. “He’s driving me crazy.”

Jared grinned and kissed Jensen’s forehead. “Come out, everything is ready.”

“Let me help your mother,” Jensen said, turning to help Sharon pick up the bowls of salads.

He picked up a bowl and he grinned at her sheepishly.

“You really are like a son to me,” she said softly. “I couldn’t ask for better. I’m really proud of the man you are. In you I see one of the best fathers. Jensen, I couldn’t ask for better. No mother could ask for anyone to better for her son.”

Jensen put the bowl down and hugged her again, trying not to cry.

**

Outside was a mess of family, burgers were almost done, girls were sweaty, Cam was running around.

The noises were loud and perfect.

Jensen sat on the grass with the rest of his raggedy crew, because apparently they did need a huge table.

Jared sat next to him, eating more food than possible. Cam sat between his legs, carefully eating corn on the cob. 

The sun shone down.

It was a gorgeous day


End file.
